NEW YORK, NY – A limited edition of Hillary Clinton’s new memoir, What Happened, will be sold as part of a special promotional package featuring a campaign logo-bearing crack pipe personally signed by the former Secretary of State, according to a joint press release from Simon & Schuster, the publisher of the book, and Amazon.com, the ecommerce giant who’s been caught removing scores of one-star reviews since it’s initial release earlier this month.
“We feel that in order for readers to fully appreciate What Happened in the way Hillary desires, some sort of hard drug is pretty much essential,” explained Iama Lemming, Simon & Schuster’s chief of pro-Clinton propaganda and book promotion. “While there are some who can see the world as Ms. Clinton does without the benefit of having recently ingested crack, smack, or heroin, we’re finding that most people aren’t quite there yet.”
The limited edition package is scheduled to go on sale early next month after Hillary’s husband completes what the Clinton team describes as “months of rigorous testing”.
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