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5-Year-Olds Expected To Be “Salt & Light” To Kindergarten Drag Queens

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HOUSTON, TX – With August upon us, millions of American Christians are once again shipping their 4- and 5-year-olds off to be “salt and light” to a wide range of committed anti-Christian perverts, including an increasing number of drag queens now being welcomed to groom the young at events like “Drag Queen Story Time” events hosted in public schools across North America.

“We’re just so proud of our little Johnny for being there to shine the light of God on these drag queens while sitting on their laps and sharing story time together,” explained Ben Snivelton, the father of Johnny, a five-year-old attending Houston’s Karl Marx Kindergarten on the north side of town. “It’s such a great opportunity for Johnny to serve God and set a good Christian example for the rank perverts that bounce him on their knee while reading pro-perversion propaganda in the form of LGBTQ-promoting story books.”

“Just knowing that our sweet little Johnny is being salt and light to those heathens makes our day,” added Sharon Snivelton, Ben’s wife. “If it wasn’t for Johnny being salt and light, I don’t know how Ben and I would rationalize shipping him off to that place while we both work jobs to provide the middle class American lifestyle to which we’ve become accustomed.”

“I’m not saying that we wouldn’t find a way of rationalizing it,” Sharon clarified with a giggle. “Just that I’m not sure how we’d do it.”


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