MIAMI, FL – In what many experts are calling “an epic freak show of unprecedented sociopathic insanity”, nearly two dozen clowns spent two days slowly pouring out of a tie-dyed Prius parked in front of Miami’s Arsht Center and proceeded to spew a variety of disturbingly irrational proposals at anyone who would listen.
“One of them actually wants me to pay for fake women to have abortions,” noted Jane Smith, a local housewife and mother of four who had the misfortune of walking by the clown car just as Julian Castro emerged from its glove compartment. “I’m not sure which is worse: That he actually thinks fake women can get pregnant or that, if they could get pregnant, it would be a great idea to force me to help finance the murder of their baby.”
“The whole thing makes me feel almost half as confused as he is,” Smith added. “Okay, so maybe I’m nowhere near that confused, but you get my meaning. That guy is scary crazy.”
Castro’s championing of taxpayer funding for fake women’s abortions was just one of several mind-blowingly moronic proposals on display, with fellow clowns Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders leading a gang of lesser known bozos in lobbing one insanity-drenched idea after another into the crowd that gathered around them.
“It’s as if they’re completely disconnected from reality,” one observer noted while covering their ears and walking faster past the Arsht Center as the increasingly frantic leftists blathered on about free everything for everybody. “Then again, I guess that’s what sells in Democrat primaries.”
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