VALPARAISO, IN – Even after President Obama’s open toilet public education decree removed longstanding bathroom barriers between certain sexual deviants and defenseless little girls, confused Christian parents are still dropping their children off at public schools on the way to protest Target for its open toilet policy.
“I just can’t believe that Target would dare to do this! I can’t believe they would subject my little girl to something as ridiculous as an open bathroom policy,” cried Gale Jennings of Valparaiso while nudging her seven-year-old daughter, Candice, out of the car and into the parking lot at Karl Marx Elementary. “It just breaks my heart to think of what could happen to my sweet little baby in one of those Target bathrooms!”
When asked about the same exact policy having been enacted for her public school’s restrooms and about the fact that public schools were literally designed to immerse malleable little children like Candice in a thoroughly anti-Christian worldview all day, every day, Mrs. Jennings simply stared straight ahead with a glazed look in her eyes as though she was waiting for whomever was speaking to her to stop making noise so she could move along and get on with her life.
“I will not rest until Target stops making my little girl vulnerable to perverts!” proclaimed Jennings as her little girl prepared for another day of intellectual perversion at Karl Marx Elementary.
Like what you see at The End Times? Want to help us pay the bills and keep the Apocalyptic Satire going? If so, please consider dropping a few bucks in the tip jar.
You can also get a detailed look into what we’re doing and why we’re doing it by reading Mocking The Prophets Of Baal: The Beauty And Power Of Christian Satire (And Why So Many People Hate It) over at FireBreathingChristian.com.