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Psychology Majors 150 Times More Likely To Need A Psychologist Than They Are To Become One, Report Confirms


WASHINGTON, DC – Psychology majors are far more likely to need a psychologist in the future than they are to ever actually become one according to a report released by the American Psychological Association.

The study, which confirms the deep and longstanding suspicions of most people who’ve ever actually known a psychology major, found that students enrolled as declared psyche majors are just over 150 times more likely to either already have or soon develop serious psychological issues than they are to complete their formal training and go on to practice psychology on others in an officially credentialed capacity.

“People who believe primarily in looking within for answers are inherently self-referential and subjective in their understanding of reality,” noted Dr. Matthew Wells, recovering psychologist and current head of the Coalition Against Navel-Gazing. “Which is another way of saying that they are fundamentally disconnected from objective truth, and when you’re disconnected from objective truth, which defines objective reality, you’re not in a very good position to actually solve problems in a meaningful, lasting way.”

“Which is probably why psychology hasn’t ever actually cured anyone of anything in the real world.”

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