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NSA Releases List Of “Top Ten Things Citizens Should Forget About” On Memorial Day


WASHINGTON, DC – The United States National Security Agency, a massively funded Orwellian tool of the American State responsible for information gathering and citizen surveillance at a level and on a scale that would make past heads of the KGB, Gestapo, and Stasi weep with envy, has released an official list of “The Top Ten Things Americans Should Forget About”.

“Privacy” predictably topped the list, but that didn’t seem to even register as meaningful with most who read it, since Americans have long been programmed to assume that Big Brother can and should violate basic privacy rights in order to “protect” and “take care of” them.

“If you’ve got nothing to hide, you’ve got nothing to worry about,” noted Ben Arnold of Boston, echoing the sentiment of roughly 93% of Americans and 100% of living US Presidents, as well as former surveillance state legend and Nazi Minister of Propaganda Joseph Goebbels. “If openly violating our privacy in ways that the KGB or Gestapo never even dreamed of is what it takes for America to protect the freedom and liberty of Americans, then so be it! Ya gotta do what ya gotta do!”

“God bless America!”

Despite the nonchalant ease with which things like “privacy”, “freedom” and “liberty” were glossed over by most, some listed items did manage to briefly catch the attention of some and inspire at least a moment of slight awkwardness, if not concern.

Item #8 on the NSA’s Top Ten Things Citizens Should Forget About list, “The ability to own a home in America”, briefly captured the semi-attention of some, though most Americans who self-identify as “home owners” have grown quite comfortable as serfs or renters from the State through property tax and didn’t even believe true, actual home ownership was something to worry about, much less fight for.

“I’d never really thought about it before,” admitted Rex Hogan of Clearwater, Texas, who has been renting his home from the State for over thirty years even though he paid off his bank mortgage twelve years ago. “But I guess that’s the price of freedom. I guess we just have to give up on things like actually owning a home for real in America if we want to be good, freedom-loving, flag-waving Americans with our property tax-funded public schools and such.”

“God bless America!”

But not all Americans reading the NSA-produced list of Things To Forget About were on board with the program.

“This is creepy, creepy stuff, to be sure,” warned Charles Jackson, a long serving Pastor in a small Christian congregation near Biloxi. “The further we get away from God’s law as law, the less freedom, liberty,  and privacy we have. That much should be obvious by now.”

“But the creepiest part of all of this is the way that so many American Christians buy into it so long as it’s wrapped in an American flag and sold as ‘for our own good’.”

“I guess that’s what happens when generation after generation of Christians in America freely hand over their kids to be ‘educated’ by the very State that has its eye on taking away all of their rights and property.”

“Seems pretty dumb, if you ask me.”

Upon hearing of Pastor Jackson’s critique of American State definitions of things like “privacy” and “home ownership”, a handful of flag-waving, self-identified Christian conservatives began to chant “U! S! A!” in unison while demanding that Jackson and others with his “un-American views” either “love it or leave it”.

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