Home Politics Government Officials Assure Citizens That Privacy Will Only Be Obliterated When Absolutely...

Government Officials Assure Citizens That Privacy Will Only Be Obliterated When Absolutely Necessary

SHARE

NSAURON

WASHINGTON DC – US government officials are assuring Americans that the privacy of US citizens will only be obliterated and trampled underfoot when absolutely necessary, such as in the case of a person receiving an email or phone call or text message on their iPhone.

“Whew, that’s a relief,” sarcastically noted conscious, thinking American Tom Vickers of Baltimore. “It’s good to hear that they’ll only trample our rights when they deem it necessary. I sure hate to think of anyone obliterating the rights of another frivolously, don’t you?”

“Look, I can understand how people might be suspicious,” said CIA Director John Brennon. “The track record of where privacy violating State power leads has been pretty clear throughout all of recorded human history, so you can’t blame people for being a little apprehensive. But we’re different. We’re America. We’re not like the KGB, Stasi, or Gestapo. Not at all.”

“Our technology and capacity for trampling privacy, freedom and liberty is way more advanced.”


Help Fuel Apocalyptic Satire

Like what you see at The End Times? Want to help us pay the bills and keep the Apocalyptic Satire going? If so, please consider dropping a few bucks in the tip jar.

Thanks!

You can also get a detailed look into what we’re doing and why we’re doing it by reading Mocking The Prophets Of Baal: The Beauty And Power Of Christian Satire (And Why So Many People Hate It) over at FireBreathingChristian.com.