PHOENIX, AZ – Infamous Protestant exorcist, Satanist debater and talk radio show host Bob Larson has successfully driven what has been described as “a legion of unholy demons” from a Mesa area housecat by the name of Scruffy.
According to numerous reports from those living in or near the home in which Scruffy resides, the normally happy, pleasant housecat had become increasingly unruly in the months leading up to its climactic encounter with Reverend Larson.
“She was growling and scratching up the furniture way more than normal,” noted Gayle Sanders, Scruffy’s adopted human mother and matriarch of the Sanders home in which Scruffy has lived since she was eight weeks old. “The look she’d get in her eyes was absolutely demonic! Having listened to Reverend Bob’s radio show for years, I just knew it had to be the work of Satan.”
Having first attempted a remote exorcism via Skype taking advantage of Larson’s $295 online demonic dispersal offer, the Sanders family grew desperate as Scruffy’s condition continued to deteriorate.
“One morning I woke up to the sound of Scruffy shredding paper with her demonic talons,” added Sanders. “And when I came into the living room to see what was going on, I saw that Scruffy was tearing the family Bible to pieces!”
“That’s when I knew we had to get Reverend Bob out here pronto!”
“Skype just wasn’t gonna cut it.”
While details were not made available as to exactly what occurred during Larson’s face-to-face confrontation with the demon-possessed cat, the Sanders family has been very public with its gratitude to Larson for delivering Scruffy from the forces of darkness that had been ruining all of their lives.
While skeptics have pointed to the fact that Scruffy got fixed at right about the same time that the demonic activity ceased, the Sanders family remains convinced that Reverend Bob is the reason for peace returning to their home.
“We owe everything to Bob Larson!”
“And we’re especially glad that he accepts major credit cards and is open to long term financing options for his services.”
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