HOLLYWOOD, CA – In yet another demonstration of cultish commitment to the culture-destroying sexual chaos and LBGTBQRSTUV movements, Paramount Studios has announced what it calls “a fabulously fantastic and fantastically fabulous” revival of one of its flagship franchises in the form of a new Star Trek: No Next Generation television show set to go into production later this year. The program will be built around a new crossdressing drag queen version of Captain Picard, who will once again be played by Patrick Stewart.
The show’s prime directive will be to encourage viewers to uncritically embrace and celebrate all forms of diversity, no matter how destructive they may be or how much they may negatively impact the fate – or even the existence – of future generations.
“We’re so very proud and tickled pink to launch this brave new Star Trek,” noted Paramount CEO Brad Grey at a press event introducing the new sexually confused and confusing crew of the Enterprise. “We’re just thrilled to have this opportunity to take our fans and culture where no man, woman, gay person, lesbian, transgender, non-gender, un-person, trans-species, non-species, immaterial, Napoleonic, or yet-to-be defined subcategory of being or un-being has gone before.”
“In the thoughtless, uncritical, touchy-feely embrace of all diversity, with the exception of any and all views and lifestyles that do not agree with our interpretation of things, of course, we’ve found a great tool by which to shape the culture and redefine humanity to mean whatever we want it to mean at any given moment,” Grey added. “And what could be more fabulous than that?!”
“With the new insanely progressive vision of Star Trek: No Next Generation and a crossdressing drag queen Captain Picard building on the diversity worship promoted through Star Trek: The Next Generation, we’re taking the next big, brave step down a fantastic path to a future where nothing really has any objective meaning at all.”
“This is our great opportunity to move past thinking in Next Generation terms and start really embracing our No Next Generation future!”
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