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Pretend Women Not Sure Whether To Be Offended Or Encouraged By International Women’s Day

HOLLYWOOD, CA – With International Women’s Day upon us, millions of pretend women and advocates of pretend womanhood are finding themselves confused as to whether they should passionately celebrate or be terribly offended by the concept of womanhood being promoted through the holiday.

“Look, I’m as much a woman as anyone,” explained a large, muscular male who imagines himself to be a woman because he wears women’s make-up, dresses in women’s clothes, and is on a hormone injection program aimed at pursuing his objectively impossible fantasy of becoming an actual woman. “So while on the one hand I’d like to celebrate Women’s Day as a woman, on the other hand I’m not sure I want to do anything to further cement the idea in people’s heads that there’s such a thing as objectively, biologically, or genetically defined womanhood.”

“What exactly are we celebrating here? Are we celebrating womanhood as defined by things like biology and genetics? If so, count me out!” the man continued in a deep, raspy voice reminiscent of Jim Morrison or Ian Astbury. “But if we’re celebrating all women equally – including women like me who happen to technically be men – well then I’m all for it, of course!”

“If you get a definitive answer on that, please let me know so I can express my womanly joy or rage accordingly.”

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