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Mainstream Media “Shocked” To Discover That Most Of Its Favorite People Are Serial Sexual Deviants

NEW YORK, NY – With openly flaunted yet long ignored evidence of serial sexual deviance and degeneracy being the norm among entertainment, media, and political elites in America, the nation’s mainstream media outlets are struggling to convey how “shocked” and “appalled” they are about it all in a way that makes any sense to anyone with two or more brain cells to rub together.

“Obviously we’re as shocked as anyone to discover that so many good, open-minded, tolerance-embracing Progressives like Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, Charlie Sheen, George Bush, Bill O’Reilly, and Ben Affleck are actually roving sexual predators of one sort or another,” explained one mainstream news media executive on condition of anonymity until his multiple pending sexual harassment suits are settled. “I mean, who could’ve ever seen this coming?”

“How could anyone have even imagined that a culture dominated by the music, movies, art, politics, and comedy that corporations like ours have been promoting and profiting from for decades now would in fact be infested and pillaged by roving hordes of empowered elite sexual predators?”

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