AUSTIN, TX – Legendary conspiracy theorist and wildly popular talk radio host Alex Jones has landed a lucrative sponsorship deal with one of the world’s premier foil producers, according to sources familiar with long running negotiations between the conspiracy theory subculture icon and representatives for Reynolds Group Holdings.
“Nobody screams ‘tin foil’ like Alex Jones,” noted a well placed Reynolds Group source on condition of anonymity. “And nobody makes better foil than the Reynolds Group, so the fit here seems as natural as anything involving Alex Jones can be.”
The deal, which binds the Reynolds Wrap brand with Jones and his InfoWars media productions for the next five years, is said to be worth one hundred million dollars.
Upon completion of the contract with Jones, Reynolds Group announced that it will be rolling out five new foil-related products, including a new extra thick, non-stick “Anti-Illuminati Mind Control” brand that promises not to stick to users’ hair after it’s shaped into a hat and placed on their head. For users with less time to spend on things like foil hat shaping, Reynolds will also be releasing a series of pre-formed hats featuring the InfoWars logo and “There’s a war on for your mind!” tagline.
Reynolds Group executives are confident that they’ll quickly recoup the $100,000,000 investment and go on from there to profit quite nicely from the deal.
“We have no doubt that we’re gonna sell a whole lotta foil as a result of this partnership,” added the aforementioned Reynolds Group rep. “Just imagine the power of having the Reynolds Wrap brand and new “Anti-Illuminati Mind Control” products highlighted in the corner of every InfoWars and Prison Planet video production? The potential for impulse purchases by millions and millions of Alex Jones fans on any given day is impossible to overstate.”
“Frankly, at $100 million, we think we’re getting quite a deal here.”
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