CHAPPAQUA, NY – Hillary Clinton may have accidentally obeyed an actual law earlier today, according to several highly placed and even more highly shocked sources close to the former First Lady and Secretary of State.
The insanely wealthy Democrat nominee for President, who claims to have left the White House “not only broke, but in debt”, was observed standing still momentarily at a street corner near her home in Chappaqua when prompted not to cross by a common “don’t walk” light. While Mrs. Clinton usually ignores such signs and has her Secret Service detail escort her across any intersection she wishes to cross at any time she wishes to cross it, in this case she actually seemed to submit to the command being issued by the blinking red light, much to the amazement and disbelief of several eye witnesses, including those on her Secret Service detail.
But this most rare of occurrences may not have been what it first seemed to be, according to some witnesses.
“At first, I thought, ‘Oh man, Hillary is actually obeying a law! Somebody take a picture!'” exclaimed one eye-witness on condition of anonymity so that they might avoid being ‘Vince Fostered’. “But then I realized that she was just having another one of her demonic seizures and simply couldn’t walk.”
“She just stood still there for a minute with that crazed, angry look in her eyes and her face twitching uncontrollably while muttering something about ‘call us Legion, for we are many’.”
“That’s probably about as close to voluntary obedience to the law as she can get these days.”
You can also get a detailed look into what we’re doing and why we’re doing it by reading Mocking The Prophets Of Baal: The Beauty And Power Of Christian Satire (And Why So Many People Hate It) over at FireBreathingChristian.com.