WASHINGTON, DC – Legendary Republican Senator and bloodthirsty, undead tool of the military industrial complex, John McCain, invigorated by the fresh prospects of open war with Syria and, if he’s really lucky, Russia, rose from his crypt over the weekend to make the case for “more war” with Syria, Russia, and “whoever else gets in the way”.
“Senator McCain has always been an advocate of American Empire and the use of American military power to sustain and expand that empire at any cost,” noted McCain Press Secretary R.M. Renfield while pulling the legs off a spider during a brief press conference held in a moldy, rat infested basement room under the nation’s capitol. “With fresh pictures of a handful of tragically brutalized foreign children to feast upon, Lord McCain is encouraged to see the American people once again easily lured toward war on the other side of the planet while ignoring the mass bloodletting of thousands of American children murdered in openly operating abortuaries each and every day right here in America.”
“It’s nice to see things like thought, facts, proof and consistency tossed right out the window in a headlong rush to war,” added Renfield while giggling manically and eating the spider that he just finished de-legging. “Those public schools have really paid off!”
“At this rate, we have a real shot at war with Russia by year’s end.”
You can also get a detailed look into what we’re doing and why we’re doing it by reading Mocking The Prophets Of Baal: The Beauty And Power Of Christian Satire (And Why So Many People Hate It) over at FireBreathingChristian.com.