Home Politics GOP Comes Out Of The Closet; Evangelical Leaders Pledge Full Support

GOP Comes Out Of The Closet; Evangelical Leaders Pledge Full Support


CLEVELAND, OH – With help from such well known evangelical leaders as Jerry Falwell, Jr. and Paula White, the Republican Party was finally able to fully come out of the closet this week during a convention loaded with loud, proud, and unrepentant LGBT advocacy.

From Peter Thiel’s dismissal of the culture war as “fake” while proudly proclaiming his gayness during a prime-time speaking slot shortly before Donald Trump took the stage, to Milo Yiannopoulos’ relentless promotion of even more flamboyantly gay approaches to “conservative” politics, the 2016 Republican National Convention has turned out to be, for all practical purposes, the GOP’s coming out party.

And nobody was more instrumental than American evangelical leaders in making it all happen.

“Oh yeah, this could have never happened without the help of such brave, visionary leaders as Jerry Falwell, Jr. and Paula White,” gleefully exclaimed an LGBT Republican when asked what he/she thought of the big gay vibe that had played such a significant role in Cleveland this week. “Thanks to them, we’ve finally found a way to get conservative Christians to support the giant wave of LBGT progress that is sweeping the nation.”

“It’s nice to see so many evangelical leaders willing to set aside the divisive Gospel so that we can all focus on more important things that we can unite around.”

“Like money and power, for example.”

“Thank God for evangelicals like Falwell and White!”

Help Fuel Apocalyptic Satire

Like what you see at The End Times? Want to help us pay the bills and keep the Apocalyptic Satire going? If so, please consider dropping a few bucks in the tip jar.


You can also get a detailed look into what we’re doing and why we’re doing it by reading Mocking The Prophets Of Baal: The Beauty And Power Of Christian Satire (And Why So Many People Hate It) over at FireBreathingChristian.com.