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Crystal Cathedral Files For Theological Bankruptcy


GARDEN GROVE, CA – After decades of sliding from one bad religious paradigm to the next, California’s world famous Crystal Cathedral has finally officially filed for theological bankruptcy.

In the aftermath of numerous well-documented lurches toward darkness, including filing for fiscal bankruptcy in 2010, the glitzy religious showpiece has become something of a flagship symbol of the dead religion of Americanized Christianity. Following its financial bankruptcy in 2010, the massive, glassy building was sold off to the Catholic Church, thus completing its plunge into apostasy.

“What started as a warm and fuzzy exercise in heretical man-centered religion spearheaded by Robert Schuller has now completed its descent into darkness in the arms of Roman Catholicism,” noted local historian and Crystal Cathedral expert Peter Vincent. “So yeah, I’d say filing for theological bankruptcy makes perfect sense at this point.”

“It’s a shame that it’s come to this. It didn’t have to be this way. The Cathedral could’ve just been converted into a massive cineplex or something.”

“That would’ve been much more theologically sound than anything it’s been doing for the last twenty years or so.”

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