HEMPSTEAD, NY – With D-Day here and zero hour fast approaching, millions of professing Christians in America are fervently praying that God will grant Donald Trump the strength to do whatever is necessary to crush, humiliate, and utterly destroy Hillary Clinton at tonight’s debate at Hofstra University.
“I just can’s stand the thought of a Hillary presidency,” explained “lifelong conservative Christian” Barbi O’Tool in an emotional post made at one of the thousands of Facebook forums dedicated to lifting up GOP anti-Christ Donald Trump over Democrat anti-Christ Hillary Clinton. “I know that Trump is about as biblically illiterate, pro-LGBT, pro-vice, pro-pride, and unrepentantly dismissive of the lordship of Christ as is humanly possible, but at least he’s a Republican.”
“If we’re gonna have an anti-Christ to rule over us, I just think it’s really, really important that they be a Republican.”
“The thought of a pro-LGBT, pro-vice, biblically illiterate, pro-pride, anti-repentance Democrat like Hillary being in charge just makes my head feel like it’s going to explode.”
“Only a Republican anti-Christ has any chance of making America great again, so I beg you all to join me in praying hard for Donald to do to Hillary what he’s already done to the institution of marriage and credibility of Christianity in Republican Party politics.”
Like what you see at The End Times? Want to help us pay the bills and keep the Apocalyptic Satire going? If so, please consider dropping a few bucks in the tip jar.
You can also get a detailed look into what we’re doing and why we’re doing it by reading Mocking The Prophets Of Baal: The Beauty And Power Of Christian Satire (And Why So Many People Hate It) over at FireBreathingChristian.com.