HEMPSTEAD, NY – Pansy Generation is in full bloom as debate kickoff nears at Hofstra University, where a “Trigger Warning” sign was placed outside the debate venue in an effort to protect its fragile, infantile student body and staff from being confronted by any even slightly challenging aspects of reality.
“Here at Hofstra, we’re committed to promoting the free exchange of ideas,” explained Hofstra University Director of Propaganda Pat St. Sterile. “Unless said exchange includes anything that might in any way offend or even potentially almost threaten to offend the delicate sensibilities and fragile emotions of anyone at any time in any place on our campus.”
“Basically, anything more controversial than fluffy kittens and rainbows is a threat that we take very seriously.”
“And the more I think about it, we might actually need to reconsider our lax position on fluffy kittens…”
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