Home Politics Death Star Orbits DC As Inauguration Approaches

Death Star Orbits DC As Inauguration Approaches


WASHINGTON, DC – With the inauguration of Donald J. Trump as the 45th President of the United States fast approaching, a Death Star has taken position in geostationary orbit directly above the Washington DC metro area.

“Yeah, it’s pretty weird,” noted former DC Mayor and renowned crack addict Marion Barry. “But it’s not the weirdest thing to hit the DC scene. Not by a long shot. Have you ever met Barney Frank? Or Nancy Pelosi? Or any Kennedy?”

“A dark, evil, world threatening destructive force like that kind of fits right in here the more you think about it.”

The Death Star’s arrival in DC continues an unnerving theme established last year when the same planet killing device moved into orbit around Cleveland heading into the Republican National Convention, sending many Cleveland-area residents into a panic.

DC residents, on the other hand, have taken the whole thing in stride.

“Oh yeah, I noticed it up there yesterday. No big deal,” acknowledged Sherry Jackson, a 23-year-old barista at a downtown Starbucks. “Frankly, I thought we had one of those things hovering up there for years. I just assumed it was lurking behind the clouds, waiting for the perfect moment to pop out and say hello.”

“Looks like the Trump inauguration is that perfect moment.”

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