Home Politics 2016 Presidential Campaign Trump/Clinton Formally Merge Into One Giant Gay-Affirming Candidate

Trump/Clinton Formally Merge Into One Giant Gay-Affirming Candidate


SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With both major party nominations in hand and the White House effectively secured, the two openly LGBT-promoting halves of Trump/Clinton merged together into a single androgynous candidate during a rare joint campaign event in San Francisco where it/they celebrated the “inevitable triumph” of sexual chaos throughout the land.

By literally fusing into one creepy, androgynous, toupee and cankle equipped super-Progressive, both halves of Trump/Clinton made their shared adoration and appreciation of sexual chaos and moral depravity plain in a way that they hoped would leave no doubt in the minds of millions of LGBT advocates who are working so hard to promote the complete Romanesque cultural implosion and death of America.

“Whether it’s the half of me that enables sexual predators like Bill Clinton by actively destroying the reputations of the countless women he uses, or whether it’s the half of me that enables sexual predators like Bill Clinton by personally championing the general awesomeness of my own serial adultery and promoting the use of women at strip clubs, the profits from which I then used to help fund his campaigns, my commitment to sexual chaos and the moral obliteration of the culture should be plain to anyone with two brain cells to rub together,” boasted Trump/Clinton to the thunderous applause of assembled masses of sexually depraved, strip-club and porn loving Republicans and Democrats.

“Once I am in the White House…and, at this point, let’s face it: I’m in…once I am in the White House, one thing that you can know beyond any doubt whatsoever is that you have a pro-LGBT champion leading this great country.”

After a roughly 45 minute speech to the legion of demonically inspired pro-LGBT Republican and Democrat Party activists, Trump/Clinton split back into their two public personas and resumed campaigning on two distinct tracks, with Clinton continuing to build traditionally leftist Democrat support for the LGBT movement, and Trump assigned the task of continuing to dupe and lead conservative Christians into supporting his openly LGBT-promoting candidacy.

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