Home Church Christian Man Conveniently “Spiritualizes Away” Every Aspect Of Life That He Doesn’t...

Christian Man Conveniently “Spiritualizes Away” Every Aspect Of Life That He Doesn’t Want To Tackle Biblically


ASPEN, CO – Well known local church leader and highly regarded pillar of the community, Mickey Horton, 49, conveniently “spiritualizes away” any topic or area of life that he doesn’t want to tackle in a straightforward, biblical manner, according to numerous reports from friends, family members, and church associates who are “getting really tired” of “the whole abuse of spirituality thing”.

“I find it very important to separate out the spiritual from the worldly, or matters of the flesh, if you will,” explained Horton. “Prayer time, listening to sermons at church, singing in the choir, dropping off my kids at Awana…these are spiritual things. Therefore they are to be taken very seriously. But the way I do business, approach politics, understand law, pursue entertainment, and educate my children…well…those are just the worldly things of this age that I have to roll along with on the world’s terms.”

“The last thing I want to do is even try to mix the earthly with the spiritual by bringing an explicitly Christian approach into those worldly areas of life.”

“I’m way too spiritual for that!”

Help Fuel Apocalyptic Satire

Like what you see at The End Times? Want to help us pay the bills and keep the Apocalyptic Satire going? If so, please consider dropping a few bucks in the tip jar.


You can also get a detailed look into what we’re doing and why we’re doing it by reading Mocking The Prophets Of Baal: The Beauty And Power Of Christian Satire (And Why So Many People Hate It) over at FireBreathingChristian.com.