NEW YORK, NY – Super Bowl 51 may still be nearly a year away, but new halftime show sponsor PayPal is wasting no time putting its mark on the production as it prepares what it promises to be “an enlightened and educational presentation of what it means to be a woman today”.
To that end, PayPal and the National Football League have announced that Bruce Jenner will be the show’s featured performer. Jenner’s Super Bowl halftime set will center on what is being billed as a stirring rendition of the Helen Reddy classic “I am Woman”.
“I can’t tell you how excited I am to have been chosen for this incredible event. It’s an unbelievable honor to represent women across America and all over the world,” said Jenner in a deep, gravely voice while wiping away a mascara-permeated tear with his hairy, hulk-ish hand. “The opportunity to embody and proclaim the beauty and power of true womanhood to the world on such a massive stage seems almost too good to be true,” added Jenner with a creepy, man-pretending-to-be-little-girl giggle.
Helen Reddy’s “I am Woman” was released at the peak of the counterculture era in the early ’70s. It quickly become an enduring anthem for the women’s liberation and progressive movements, which have now led us to this magical Bruce Jenner moment.
The prospective sight and sound of a cross-dressing Bruce Jenner on a global stage belting out the legendary line “I am woman, hear me roar!” is already paying dividends for Target Stores, Inc., who recently launched a new “TransJenner” line of clothing for men pretending to be women.
NFL and PayPal executives are hoping for that TransJenner magic to similarly boost their brands.
“Progressive, enlightened people who despise and want to destroy core concepts like family, marriage, and sexuality have a friend in the National Football League,” assured NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. “We are absolutely, positively, one hundred percent committed to Bruce Jenner’s vision of what it means to be a woman in America and we are thrilled to have the opportunity to bring that vision to the world through the Super Bowl.”
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